MARRIED LIFE

 Honestly married life was fun.

I am blessed with a husband who's kind enough to help me do house chores when I am busy with my syariah studies (which is not fun at all but that's for another story). He would also help me cook for tomorrow's lunch so I could save money to buy a brand new gold bracelet hehe and do the laundry on the weekend.

Couldn't have made life without my husbaby honestly.

As at 12.07.2023, 10.50 p.m. he was sitting beside me talking about his friend's hotwheels as he just finished goreng ayam and masak nasi for my lunch and I was supposed to finish up my assignment but here I am, procrastinating.

Thank you and I love you ab sayang.

I AM GETTING MARRIED - BRIDEZILLA MODE ON!

 Quick update just because I feel so overwhelm with life.

There are just so so so many things to think of that I couldn't sleep well last night. Now I am at the office, like a true zombie. It's only 9, guys! Anyways, let me dump my thoughts over here so I could be a little at peace- I am getting married next year yay ok but now do I need bridesmaid? RM1000.00 to spend on bridesmaid attire only oh my oh no.What my goodie bags should be- Glass, spoon and fork, basic cookies, homemade choc?! How about our honeymoon? when, where, wait hol' up do we even have extra money for that?! Not to mention, though I have booked my wedding planner and solemnization attire, I have no idea how everything's going to look like because most of the meet ups will be done reaching the end of October. 

I know you guys probably be thinking "Calm down. Chill. You still have 3 more months to prep for everything" but dang... How can I...when Syafiq's reception/Majlis Sambut Menantu which would be done after my reception (late January 2023) already started asking us about our preferred wedding dress, foods, and invitation cards. I mean WHAT THE ACTUAL EFF IS HAPPENING my side hasn't even started how am I supposed to make decision for guy's side?! Gila. 

I swear nothing has been easy for the last two months. A lot of fights, arguments and disagreements happened. A lot of them but we need to persevere aite? I loathe this kind of moments mainly because of the anxiety and adrenaline rush that comes together. It kept me awake at night, overthinking about a one day event that have yet to happen in the future. Truly sucking out the energy in me (also money because we are broke af).

Also because the commitments that come once I get married is making me crazy. Now, we have cars, house, bills, foods to pay and what economy decided that yay it's the right time to have inflation. With OPR rate rising like it's a monthly thing now. I guess I am gonna melt myself here. Ugh you know, I wanted everything to be perfect but some things are not achievable because everything is crazy expensive these days. so yes. This is my mid-life crisis. It's (once again) crazy.

So here I am back at here because this has always been and forever will be my comfort place. I might not be here often but god knows how I miss writing. (waiting for 5.30 p.m. so I can go home now hehe).

I think that is all. Until next time peeps.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

late- cherry on top of cupcake

It's been almost a year since I last write here. I was talking to my therapist the other day when she explained to me about sleep hygiene activities and one of them is journaling. Instantly I thought of this blog. 

so.... I guess that's the first update of the year - I am meeting a therapist! Hahaha. I am on my second session already and I wish to continue attending every once a month for my own mental health.

Also by God's Grace, I have officially graduated and called to the bar too! After 6 months of being unemployed, attending a lot of interviews, I finally landed a job as a full-time conveyancing lawyer or as people called it- "lawyer rumah". Another surreal moment, I now have a stamp with my own name and Advocate & Solicitors beneath it, my full name on the cover letter and my own card???? Can you freaking believe that? This girl whom has no clue of what she's doing for 5 freaking years, finally a lawyer, like a legit lawyer?! I am sure I made Abah and Mama proud this time.

Did I tell you I got engaged on 20th of November 2021 to the same guy I wrote about a year ago? 

....

Dang. Everything, last year and not a single update here? I know right?

2020-2021 was the year God wanted me to learn about the reality of life after being in a controlled environment my whole life. I met a lot of people with different background and stories. Life previously was plain white papers with little dots of black turned to the color of gray and to a point it became black as a whole. I am glad I have my family, my friends and most importantly myself to pull me out of the darkness I was experiencing. But that what made you mature enough to face life right? Unlike movies and fairytales, life is more than just rainbows and sunshine. There will be heavy rains, storm and thunder, sometimes hurricane- but with God wills, it will all pass. All it takes is your determination to fight it and don't forget to do it for you.

Though I was still very much affected with things that happened last year, I decided to do 2022 differently than I ever did previously and that include: thinking before deciding and be determined enough to do what is good for me.

Cheers to 2022, also let's hope I will journal more here (no promises).

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

Duo Travel | Day 2 | Seoul, Korea | Part I

Hello! Salam Aidiladha peeps! I'm back and I'm in the mood to write about my long postponed Korea trip. I miss being outdoor so much. It has been almost two months keeping myself indoor because I don't want to be exposed to the virus but the cases, god it feels as if we are truly hopeless. Short life update: I haven't even filed my chambering papers = I am not yet a lawyer because I didn't have the pass (MITI letter) to travel to KL tsk.

Anyways, instead of writing all specific events that's happening one and a half year ago (lol @ my procrastinate self) I think I would do photo dump instead and maybe (I said, maybe) I would highlight some parts which I still remember happening. Otherwise... Well. You still got to enjoy the pictures at least. Or you can also head to my youtube channel because I created a video about my first travel experience (pls subscribe and comments also oki!).

Elysian Skii House

look at our excited face. :')

The time while we were here is spain without the word S. It was our first time and there was literally no one to guide us. We just slide through every slopes there is hoping that we wouldn't bump into anybody. I even shouted out loud "EXCUSE ME, I AM SORRY" in public because I was scared I am going to knock some innocent Koreans. But my first slide was hella fun! Still remember how I just pushed my body and slide the first slope like a wind, I was. 

We had our first bad experience here too. It was during this lifting moment which was supposed to carry us down using this machine: 

Aisyah and I literally had no idea we were supposed to naik and turun of the lifting OURSELVES. I'm going to explain in Bahasa now because I think I would describe the experience clearer that way.

So long story short: Masa kitaorang nak naik that lifting machine untuk turun ke bawah (sebab tak reti nak ski naik ke atas), kitaorang kena naik lifting machine ini sendiri. Cuba bayangkan dengan alatan ski yang terdiri helm (macam kasut), papan ski dan tongkat ski (lol I google-d these words), kitaorang jalan terkedek-kedek dekat lifting machine tu supaya dapat turun ke bawah. Tapi Alhamdulillah, proses nak naik tak sesusah nak turun. Tapi while we were going down, it's kinda scary juga sebab rasa tak selamat. Nak pegang phone nak record scenery pun rasa macam "uhhhmmm" but I recorded a few anyways.

Masa nak turun dari lifting machine tu yang agak menakutkan sebab like I said, we were wearing all these skiing attire which is making it even HARDER to control ourselves. Sudahlah nak turun tu, kitaorang kena angkat besi yang lindung kita dari terjatuh dari lifting machine. Bayangkan pegang tongkat skii, phone etc, susahlah nak angkat guna tangan. Jadi, kitaorang pun menjeritlah, "help, help". Tapi orang Korean tu mungkin tak faham apa kitaorang cakap (husnudzon ya -..-), dia tak tolong angkat besi tu pun, tapi jerit "your pants, your pants". Rupa-rupanya seluar Aisyah tersangkut kat lifting machine. Ah sudah. Dah nak dekat dekat dengan ground barulah diaorang tolong angkatkan besi, itu pun kitaorang terpaksa melompat, terjatuh dan tersakiti oleh Korean oppa. Hshshs.

As we reached down, there was this one slope (not really that steep, but still STEEP ok for beginners) we have to slide down. While we were both sliding down, together, we collided with each other. Bayangkan bergerak dengan laju dan terlanggar. Mashallah. It doesn't hurt but our stick and board were flying to places. Tiba tiba my board dekat atas, the stick was down there somewhere and I was in the middle. I literally had to climb my way up to take the board and wiggle ourselves down. It's difficult to have to move on ice. The helm wasn't helping at all. Dahlah stuck in the middle of the slope, you imagine. It was humiliating but somehow fun. Hahaha. Then, we just wiggled through the rest of the slope cause we were scared and late to the next destination. 

happy cos I get to cross one list of my bucket list!

I thought that I would just dump photos, but it seems like I don't have enough photos to dump and I wrote longer than I should. So maybe the continuation to my second day in Seoul will be up in the next post because now, I need to shower!!!

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

A pile of huge mess

 In case you didn't know, Malaysia is going through full movement control order (fmco) 3.0 right now. It has been going on for almost a month, yet I doubt we will seen any light at the end of the tunnel anytime soon. It is frustrating because I am restricted from doing things I want and I should do in the last one month. I tried to be as productive as I was back in fmco 1.0 but failed miserably. So here I am trying to be productive again after being a sloth for a whole one month (yup, my June is wasted!).

Breaking news: I have completed my pupillage and now remained unemployed. I don't know how long I am going to be unemployed but the anxiety is kickin' in already... I have to find work as soon as possible but right now?? I haven't even filed my chambering papers yet. To be honest, my life is a pile of huge mess and I am trying (so hard) to clean up em' up (not easy as I procrastinate on a lot of things).

I don't even know if I want to continue being a lawyer and if I do which paths are the best for me? I haven't decided and to be frank, I don't know if law is for me. But if it's not law, then what???? I only have a law degree and couldn't afford to do a double degree now that I am an adult, financially independent but also broke.

How I wish I can push the fast-forward button in my life so I would know what I should do and shouldn't do - but sigh. This is what adulting feels like I guess. Confusing. Alright. I guess that's that. A small update about what's happening in my life. There are more to it but I can't seem to dump everything in a post. If I did that, you guys will see just how messy and tangled things are and prolly regret reading this blog.

I hope my life wouldn't be as dark as Malaysia's future (seriously guys, read the news but I better not elaborate). I hope there will still be light at the end of the tunnel. Inshallah. Aamiin.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

before the curtain falls

 Despite the pandemic, I've got to say that 2020 has been an amazing year thus far and here's why;

1. Seoul, Korea.

The pandemic was just about to start when Aisyah and I decided to travel to Korea. We planned everything in less than a month (after finals to be precise) and voila, Annyeonghaseyo Korea! It wasn't easy persuading my parents to let me go, but the process was really worth it. The best part is that both Aisyah and I have never traveled on our own before and that made the trip even more adventurous.  We got to experience Winter, played with the snow, went skiing, explored Nami Island, random late nights trip to local stores, skincare shopping, and many more. On our last day in Seoul, we actually used the public transport to discover some places on our own. 

2. Losses weight

During the lockdown, I have been following @soiamjenn on Instagram where she would post her everyday workout routine and I was inspired to do the same. I committed to Chloe Ting's 2 weeks shred program and Tabata exercises for one month (during Ramadan) before changing to Intermittent fasting because I was too busy with school. As a result, tadaaa,

Before MCO weight: 54 kgs.

After MCO weight: 47 kgs.

3. Graduate LL.B (Hons)

The final semester was rough because everything's online. We attended classes, tutorials, and conducted group meetings online because of MCO. Some days we would stay up until 3-4 a.m. to complete our assignments. The only good thing about online learning is that our exams are conducted online and we are allowed to refer to notes and books which is h e a v e n.

Online learning burnt me out honestly. Some days I can barely open my eyes and attend classes even though I am just few steps away from my laptop. Sometimes, I even forget I have a class i.e. there was this one day, I was waiting for my parcel to arrive that I completely forgot I have a Bankruptcy lecture. Lucky for me it was just a one-time thing, otherwise... RIP my final semester.

Anyways, happy to tell I got through the sleepless nights and the burn out(s) and graduated from law school on July 2020. This feels really surreal. I remember writing about getting an offer to pursue pre-law and shared bits of my journey as a law student at UM law school here. It reminded me of all the things I have to go through to make this possible, and for that I want to thank myself for not giving up.

4. Went on an Island trip at Pulau Tioman

This was the most random and last minute trip! I remember doing grocery shopping with Dania when I received a text message from Nabila asking if I am free to go to Pulau Tioman the next morning. Gathered my courage to ask for my dad's permission and lucky I was, my application was approved. I got to unwind a little after went to one interview for Chambering (lol @ me). Also get to cross off one thing of my bucket list... oh wait, two actually! 1. Holiday at an Island, 2. Tried snorkeling for the first time!

5. Started my Chambering

Right after I got back from Pulau Tioman, I received a phone call from a firm informing me that my Chambering application was successful, Alhamdulillah.  I have been doing Chambering for almost 2 months now. I was really blessed to be guided by supportive and helpful master and associate. I mean, they taught me from the littlest thing a Chambee should know; from writing letters and handling files to drafting Statement of Claims, Notice of Application and Affidavits for some cases. (More on this later, inshallah?)

6. Soulmate?

Probably the highlight of my 2020- I found my long lost soulmate that I have been looking for 23 years of my life. Whom would have thought I would be meeting someone who sees all my imperfection in the most perfect way possible and for that I am truly grateful for his presence in my life. Let's just pray that this relationship will go a long way. <3

--

I have been feeling somewhat overwhelmed these past few days that even when I had the privileged to be working from home, I thought of it as a bad thing. I tell myself that I probably need to do a bit of a reflection, and here goes a long list why 2020 has been amazing thus far. I mean, yes, the pandemic has gotten in the way of what could be a much more spectacular year but things happened, and for now we could only make the best out of everything we have. Maybe to some, it really has been a bad year- some people losses their income, some people has to go back to zero but I want to look at 2020 as a year which opens a lot of opportunities for me to grow as an Adult. I did a lot of new things, I discovered new places, made new friends, and fall in love; what could be worse, ay?

We are left with two months before 2020 made its way. Most people probably don't even want to remember we ever live through this time, but I wouldn't want to forget what it has brought me; love, happiness and most important of all, contentment. Therefore, I would just want to keep on making more and more memories before the curtain falls.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

Online class, you ok?

Hello peeps! I have not kept my promise to update my blog regularly. In fact there is only ONE post about my Korea trip. Very disappointing. I'll try to catch up later okay! (:

Anyways I'm back because I want to update about my online class. By now everyone probably know that all university students were instructed to resume classes online. There's no exception for the final year so- Honestly, online class sucks but that's the only platform available before everything goes back to normal. Students need to catch up with syllabus, final years need to graduate *coughs, coughs* so whether or not we like it, we don't really have a choice.

It's really sad to go through this pandemic situation while you are on final semester of degree. This indicates that there will be no more attending physical class, no more hugs from your friends (reassuring you that life would be ok despite the workload), no more our usual lunch at KK1 or KK11, no more meetings at the library (which reminded me of the newly installed lift that I only used for one semester), no more karipaps at kiosk, no more waiting at the lobby, no more Makcik cafe for good hot choc, no more sembang sembang tepi jalan, no more sitting at the bench waiting for class, and the list goes on and on.

Although sometimes I think of this situation as a blessing, I couldn't help thinking that it could have been better if I could cherish my final semester with my friends. But it is what it is.

How have I been coping with online class, you ask???
BAD BAD. Is it surprising if I told you that there are days when I would just open my Microsoft teams and sleep while the lecture is still on-going. Thank God we could record the lectures but even so I never really take the time to listen to them. Frankly speaking, I slacked off real bad during online class, especially during the first two months and I'm not proud of it. I have trouble sleeping at night trying to finish off my assignment and when the day comes,... I just uh, I NEED SLEEP to function ok!!

But then it hits me that this could be my last time as a student and it wouldn't do me any harm if I could sacrifice my sleep and attend classes. After all, I would be the one at loss if I'm not paying attention and take my classes seriously. So I started to journal again, make a to-do list, record myself in classes (trying to make a video about online classes here but-) to keep myself on the ground. It has been good so far. I presented in Insolvency tutorial after a while!!!! Did two of my presentation  a week earlier than I was supposed to present them (please make du'a for me). Also my drafting test was a-ok inshallah (we have the test yesterday). I am trying to keep up with my lecture recording so please~ *begging to myself* please for once, try to commit!!!

Am I worried about the future???
ALL THE TIME. but that's for future me to figure out. I wish her all the best T.T

I think this is it for now??? I'll try to catch up with my writing again (trying to not make any promises here because I know I'll disappoint hekhek).

See you guys!
Bye.