Sunday - 23/04/2017
I guess one of the highlights (too early eh?) of 2017 was when I decided to join Internal Mooting Competition in my faculty...
In our faculty, we have moot club which organized moot competition from time to time such as Novice Moot Competition (IMC), Internal Mooting Competition (IMC) etc. Honestly, I NEVER thought that I would involve in mooting competition. At least, not until it's a subject which we'll take next semester. By then it would be compulsory so yeah I ain't got no choice, mate. Cries.
Anyways, most of my batch mates joined NMC which stands for Novice Moot Competition (opened to all first year students) to get the experience what it is like to moot. I mean, you can't be a law student if you don't know how to moot? And interestingly, most of them told me how difficult mooting actually was when they were busy with the competition. Moot needs a lot of commitment. Once you are in, there's no way out (ok kidding). Basically, once you enter a moot competition you will dedicate half (or maybe more) of you time at the library, doing research. I still remember my friends struggling with memorials and contract assignment at the same time. Some people even withdraw from their team at the very last minute... Isn't it scary??????????
I didn't sign up for NMC just because. Plus I couldn't imagine myself, mooting?!?! And I don't want to embarrass myself in front of my seniors. #lowselfconfidence
To cut it short, it was during lecture time when Sya and Ain asked Aishah Shaiful, Aishah Soulmate and I if we wanted to be a part of the team for IMC because they were short of two people. I was contemplating at first but the idea of doing something out of your comfort-zone is nice so I finally decided to give it a try. I mean why not, early exposure to moot plus gonna take it next year some more so ok ok I'm in.
I WAS SO WRONG TO MAKE SUCH QUICK DECISION
I DIDN'T KNOW I'LL BE COMPETING WITH SENIORS I MEAN SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!
Moot does take a lot of your time. First because you need to identify the issues. There are a lot of issues k people. Then decide what law you should use, AND THE WORST PART WAS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND LAW YOU HAVE YET TO LEARN that was such a pain in the ass.... Of course, research, research, a lot of research is the answer to everything.
The issue this time was on constitutional law- oh lord hElp us.
We were given like two/three weeks to prepare but one week was burned because it was mid-sem break and I was busy with outbound program (gonna update on this soon!). Even after mid-sem ended we didn't spend that much of time on the competition. We couldn't afford staying up late nights at the library.
In moot competition you are divided into two teams; the respondent and the appellant. So basically what you have to do is to find legit law to protect your clients' rights. Sya and Aishah Shaiful represented the appellant, while Ain and I represented the respondent.
So our first EVER mistake was when we wrongly put the defendant's name. It was supposed to be the Govt. of Malaysia/public prosecutor but we put there Ketua Polis Negara instead??? Haha malu sangat because one of our seniors actually raised this questions when we had meeting with the moot club organizer.
|While waiting for the first round. Nervous!|
|As soon as it ended! We were so happy we didn't go to the final round lol.|
|Good job, council!|
Not sure 'bout my team mates, but I'm gonna talk about my experience...
Moot was really a bad idea for me. A really bad idea. By the time I know it takes up a lot of commitment, you need to read cases, you need to know statutes, application of law; I should have known it wasn't for me. I should have just waited for it to be compulsory for me to learn it instead of taking risks just to be exposed to moot. What was I even thinking?! I was obviously not in the right state of mind.
During the first round, I actually messed up everything. I felt so intimidated with our opponent, all of them are so good. Adding salt to the wound, our first opponent was our seniors which have loads of experience in mooting competition. The presented their case so well. They nailed every question asked by the judge. As I was watching them, I couldn't help myself but praying, it will be over soon. The heck, like can I get out of this place, NOW?
When it was my 'time' to moot, I stuttered a lot, I couldn't pronounce certain word clearly (I hate my accents), I didn't know what I was reading and the whole time I was presenting my points, I couldn't help myself thinking of how stupid my decision was. Our first judge was bearable. He understood that it was my first time. Besides the fact that he's good looking (ok, nyempat), he is soft-spoken which helped to calm myself down. HE IS SO NICE. The last round was the worst haha. I was sleepy and I just wanted everything to be done. It's so obvious that I didn't prepare and I was ashamed of myself. Most of the questions raised, I barely know the answer.
To be honest, it was 100% my fault for not preparing at all for the competition. I didn't read the full case. I didn't understand what I was doing. I don't understand the issue, law and application that well. I treated this competition as if it was a road to moot (introduction to moot) instead of competition. I thought of just giving it a try. I didn't think of winning the 400 MYR. I just want to be exposed to moot. Little did I know, it brought a lot of bad consequences such as exposing my stupidity to my seniors and lecturer. Long sighs... I did it very badly. And the only thing I could think of was how stupid I looked in front of everyone, in front of Ain, my lecturer, judges, classmate, seniors.
I wasn't an overthinking person but post-mooting gave a super hard impact on me.
I feel as if law is not meant for me.
I wondered what were the interviewers thinking when they chose me to be a part of that faculty?
I failed myself.
I was depressed. I just want to hide myself. I didn't want to meet the people who saw me mooted. I didn't want to even talk about it. If I could I would list all my flaws as a law student here haha but ok not now lah. One day maybe after I graduated with LLB Hons ke kan... Tak adalah malu sangat nak tunjukkan kebodohan tu.
Post-mooting made me realize that if I keep myself this way, my journey would not be easy or that smooth. (Yet it still feels so difficult to change that bad habit...) I wonder why did I take this course in the first place... What made me so in love with law... Why am I here... How?
It takes up a lot of energy for me to feel belong in the faculty because of both the people and my study. It was super hard for me. I feel intimidated all day, everyday. Each day goes wondering how the heck am I here, reading law at the best university in Malaysia. Of all the people who went to the interviews, how the heck I was chosen? Mempersoalkan takdir- berdosa. But I can't help myself. I was surrounded with intelligent people here. Even other courses looked up to us simply cause we read law. I always feel law is not meant for me. Maybe after I graduated I should just you know... get married and become a full-time house wife? Haha.
OK shouldn't feel that way. Not healthy. I have 3 more years to endure kot. Takkan nak give up this early. Ish ish ish. Semester 2 of my first year hasn't even ended!!!!
I believe that everyone is struggling with something. I have no reason to stop working so hard for the sake of
|Senyum, Even how worse your day has been.|
So... what's your struggle? :)
As of now, my struggle was to read law textbooks! Finals start this Friday, pray for me!! xoxo
Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.