Saturday, December 27, 2014

Two Precious & Priceless Diamonds.

Have you ever wonder what would happen to you, or to be more specific, to your life without your parents?! -- I think about it way too often lately.

I followed my parents to my paternal grandmother's house yesterday.

I looked at her whom covered her face with a piece of cloth. I went speechless. I stared at her with a mixed feelings, -- Sympathy, sad, scared, nervous. Since we arrived, she never got up from bed. She even eats her foods in lying position. I tried to control my emotions. I tried not to cry.

I was helping my mom with the dishes when I saw her kept pressing the television's remote control to the channel 111. "Wan, what channel do you want to watch? Let me help you with it." I asked her. She glanced at me then to the television. I repeated the same question, this time I raise my voice. She told me to increase the television's volume. I did as what she asked and turned to channel 105 since a P. Ramlee movie was on screen back then.

 Dad loves P. Ramlee, Wan must love it too! 

Long story short. Wan is old, weak enough to do things on her own. She could not balance her body when she stands, could hardly walk herself to the toilet. She has lost all her teeth, result in difficulties for her to chew foods every time she eats. In addition, she could scarcely hear what her children and grandchildren wants to say. Even more worse, she spent the whole day and night lying on bed!

Looking at her face, realizing how hard it is for her to survive life with her current condition made me felt like crying my heart out. I was imagining myself in her shoes. -- ...and it hits me. God, what will happen to me when I get older?! Will I have loving husband and children who will always stay by my side even how bad my condition is?!

Both my parents helped her to stand, but it went in vain. She could not keep her body balance when she was standing. She ended up peeing in a pail.

Mama came out of the room and I went to sit next to her. Suddenly tears streaming down my face. Told you, I have a very very very sensitive feelings. Even a small matter could make me cry! Such a cry baby, I am but whatever. I love crying. I feel relieved every time I finished crying. Anyway, back to the story, I hold Mama's hands and kissed them while asking for forgiveness from her, especially for being the black sheep among my siblings.



On the way home, I just could not stop thinking about my parents. Looking at them healthy and happy made me wanted to cry even more! I just could not stop being so grateful for having both of them in my life. Thank be to Allah, for everything He has given me. Exactly everything! Especially, for Mama and Abah. 

Mama, -- Great mother and a devoted wife! She is, I don't know how to put it in words, but she is so amazing in my eyes. She inspired me in so many ways! I love to see how she handled conflicts patiently. I love to see how she smiled and laughed even though she was really tired. She was really a supportive mother. I remember receiving cute notes which I still keep till today, of her wishing me good luck for every important exam I was going to sit for. 

Oh, and her current job of course. She was really busy this year. Going here and there. Attending this and that but she still has time to spend with us. Ma, you really making me into Accounts.

She deserves the best out of the best, I swear.

Abah, -- God. How should I start this one?! I owe you a lot! Like, seriously A LOT! You are my teacher! You taught me so many things that I did not know about life

"You need to socialize with people if you want to success in your life."

"It is very hard to deal with people, do you know that?"

I know. I know. I am the hardest one to handle. The blackest sheep among the others. Laughs. But I swear I will never forget each and every advises you have given me. I keep them in my heart. 

It would take forever for me to write every single thing you have done for me. They are uncountable. All I can say is Much Obliged for everything, Abah. Every single thing. Especially for the knowledge you have given to me as well as the experiences you have shared. I will remember them wherever I go. Insha Allah.

Without both these people, I would not be here, writing this. I would not be here, breathing. I would not be here to feel different emotions that life has to offer. I owe them a lot. Sumpah banyak wei!  I don't know if I could ever pay for every good deeds they have done for me because there are just A LOT.

I wonder how my future would be without them. 

Pernah jugalah, terfikir, what if one day I get chicken pox and my parents aren't not with me?! To spice things up, they are far away from me like, they are at Selangor while I stuck at Perak?! Siapa nak sapu ubat dekat belakang badan itu semua?! I have to do it on my own?! What?! Seriously?! Don't want. T.T 

I ate medicine pun, with Abah besides me okay. Apparently because I don't like eating medicines. Never. Since I was a baby. Eating a medicine is like a nightmare to me. Serious talk. 

It is not because I was pampered or what, but, -- God, it's about your parents here. I have been living with them for 17 years! Enduring life without them beside me would just kill me. But I know, that is life right? You can't avoid it. One day, someway, somehow, I will get used to it. Maybe.

One fine day, I would want to take care of them myself. Smile. I remember someone told me to love my parents even after what they have done to us.

"Dia marah kita ke. Dia jerit pada kita ke. Diam. Jangan melawan. Sebab dia ibu kita. Sebab dia ayah kita." 

Tell you what, if you want to compare things they have done for you, just to make you feel happy and safe, it would be thousand times more than all the scolding and nagging so yeah, for once, appreciate your parents. Not everyone has parents. Now, you have them, appreciate them before they go. You know what I mean.

This is a lesson for me so that I would not treat my parents for granted. They have sacrified a lot for me and my sibling in so many ways, -- Love, time, energy, money, you named it! It would never be fair for them to be treated badly by their children.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

maybe, it's me

"I don't know what's wrong with me.
Sometimes, I wish I could vanish into thin air.
Sometimes I demand not to be left all alone.
Sometimes, I wish I didn't know/meet certain people in my life but,
I often find myself hanging without their presence around.
I find myself seeking so much for their attention.

"I need someone to guide me."  I said to myself but then, I find myself drowning.
No one is there to help.

There are times when I want to do everything on my own,
But I find myself crouched in the middle of the journey.
I lose the battles.
I lose to myself.

Maybe it's me.
The problem is me.

It's me whom demand a lot when Allah The Almighty said, "Na-ah Zafira. It's not your time yet.""

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

Friday, November 28, 2014

#JTPRS14

I sat on the stairs with two of my friends, Sharifah Nuramirah Izzati and Syazwani Afza when tears come streaming down my face. I looked at my juniors, they were busy preparing for the event so that it would look perfect for us. Last year, it was me and of course, my team whom were given the responsibilities to organize the Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya's yearly banquet. I could see myself as I watched them running here and there, trying to sort out every problem they faced. If last year we celebrated our ex-seniors, today, they celebrated our last day as a Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya of Jalan Empat Secondary School.

It's Jamuan Tahunan Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya 2014, peeps!
 I have been looking forward to this day for the whole year! Really.

Anyway, today I spent the my day at the iOi City Mall with Rabiatul Aqillah and her sister, skating. When I got home, my junior told me that I have to be at school at 7.50 p.m., I started to get panicked. You see, I haven't decide on what to wear yet. The main theme is international but for the Form 5 students was Kesultanan Melayu. You understand what I am trying to say here? Laughs. Okay, never mind.

I tried to look beautiful as my dear junior, Amira said I have to look great during this event because I would be the "special" guest. Sort of a VIP like that.

...so, I came out with this outfit,


Thanks for the lovely handmade flower crown dear Form 4 PRS!
I love it!


Mir, I am glad you come!!


Meet Sharifah Nuramirah Izzati everyone!

She was my desk mate last year. I am so grateful for her presence in my life. I still remember the day when she get into my class, 4 Kreatif, as a new student. She sat beside me and I was the one whom introduced her to PRS when she actually wanted to be a Perfect. Thank you so much Mir Mir for becoming my friends. For helping me through my ups and downs as the Pengerusi Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya this year!

 Of course, Syarifah Nur Husna too! Too bad she couldn't make it to the event today. This girl ah, I tell you, such a helpful person. May Allah grant her happiness in her life, forever. Especially now because she had already get married! Gosh, I can't believe one of my friends is at the new stage of life. I mean, getting married at 17?! That is a long long long very very very long way to go for me. 


Oh yes, thank you for lending me your hands and play with them as I was so nervous to deliver the speech during the event. I was the first and I wasn't informed earlier so the speech was unscripted and disorganized. 

Sighs.


During the dinner!


Meet Syazwani Afza peeps!

It will take forever for me to express my gratitude for you, Syazwani Afza but please know that you are one of the reasons I survived my last year as a high school student. I have gone through a lot of unexpected thing this year with you. You know me at my best and worst yet, you still accept me for who I am. Thank you so much for putting up with me despite you have known every inch of my flaws. I love you so much!



My brother, Irfan.




With the Form 5 PRS who came to celebrate this event!

I am a bit disappointed that most of my PRS cliques couldn't come to enjoy our last day as PRS
Well, if any of you read this, thank you so much for helping me throughout the year. Thank you for helping me during Puan Hafsah's retiring day, teacher's day, interview for the new PRS and help me to handle PRS meetings. Thank you so much for your time!


A picture with Mama(s).

God, this will take forever but I want to thank each and everyone of you for every knowledge you have given to me. They were priceless. I am sorry if I am not that perfect leader you were looking for to help you handle PRS of Jalan Empat Secondary School but I did my very best to lead the juniors this year. Thank you so much for the help, for the knowledge, for the experience you have shared with me. They will not, ever, be forgotten. In fact, I will use them as guidance for me to be a better person and a good leader in the future. 

Much obliged, Mama Zanariah, Mama Wan Amiza Azrinna and Umi Yushamizatulfiza!



With my Form 2 juniors. They looked so gorgeous!


This time with my Form 4 junior, Insyirah. She has a beautiful voice!


Form 1 PRS. She's a lovely girl!


The photographer, Faries Fitry! He's 15!

I had so much fun today! I can't believe I am no longer the Pengerusi Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya of Jalan Empat Secondary School anymore. Time flies and I believe the Form 4 PRS will lead PRS better next year. I trust them with all my heart. I know they can do it. They prove it with the successful event!


Oh, I was nominated as the Queen of the night. 

I feel like a princess today, you know. When will I ever feel this again?! Laughs.

That is it, I supposed. Will update more soon!

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina. 

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Graduation Day

Guess who just graduated as a high school student?!
.

.

.


You get it right, peeps. It's me!

Exactly one month and a half left before I am officially no longer a high school student! I felt as if I just entered the school for Form 1 Orientation day which fall on December 31st, 2009. Now, here I am, celebrating Graduation day. Time flies so fast, indeed!

OH WAIT BEFORE I PROCEED I WOULD WANT YOU TO SEE THIS,


#Throwback.  #WhatPubertyDidToMe. #PubertyHitsMeHard.

I bet you are laughing your ass off right now, aren't you? -________- 

Just so you know, that picture was taken in the year of 2010. -- Graduated, innocently, as a Primary School student. Mama forced me to take pictures and, I was shy. Yes, shy. Laughs. Now, wherever I go, whatever I do, I would ask my youngest sister to capture my picture. People changed right? So do I. 

Anyway, let's get back to the story. I was really looking for this day. I even asked my mom to buy me a beautiful dress because you only graduated from high school once in a life time! Therefore, you have to look as beautiful as a princess whilst for guys, as handsome as the prince. Hear me?!


This was the dress I wore. 
I bought it at one of the stores in Metro Kajang.

Mm-hmm, I don't apply any make ups on my face because I did not know we could wear our make ups today. Plus, I don't know how on earth to apply all the mascara, eyeliner, blusher and all that. And often confused between eyeliner and mascara. The only thing I know is how to wear compact powder and apply the lip balm on my lips. Lipstick?! I asked my younger sister to put it for me. Because every time I did it myself, the lipstick would look comot. -________-


My classmates, the Ibnues.






I introduced you to, *Drums roll*, the people who have been with me through my ups and downs, Rabiatul Aqillah and Syazwani Afza.

Really, I think of blabbing about two of my many favorite people but I just can't find the right time to do so due to business with SPM and everything. If you two, ever read this, I know I am a sweet talker, but it's okay if it's with the two of you right? Please know and realize that I love both of you so much that whenever any of you needs my help or a shoulder to lean on, I will always be there. Okay? Okay.



Same goes to you Haziq Haiqal!!!

(... Oh good luck in finding your future wife, Jiqsaw puzzle/blade.)





The beauty with brain, Aisyah Nabila.




With the Ibnu Sina to my Chemistry, Ooi Qi Qin.

Thanks Gigi (That's her nickname, created by Teacher Junaninah, our History teacher) for teaching me Chemistry. Thanks for the help and for being a good friend throughout the year. 

With Love, Fifa. (And that is my nickname, she created it. Fifa World Cup, she said.)


I sat beside them during the event. Meet Najwa Atiqah who is a quiet girl in class and hell yeah, the Additional Mathematics expert, Noraina.




After the event ended.

The event went well. Except that I was nervous walking up on the stage and received the scroll. We had a rehearsal yesterday and were instructed to say, "Thank you Dato'" to the guy who gave us the scrolls. But, I, inadvertently called him cikgu, instead of Dato'. I tried to say sorry but hey, we need to hurry so yes, I walked down the stage, feeling disappointed. 

The ending was splendid! We sang Laskar Pelangi song dedicated to our parents. I felt like crying when I sang the song. Especially when I looked at my mom. The perks of having a sensitive heart. *Pouts.


Getting chubbier and chubbier and chubbier everyday.


I looked like a tomato squeezed by pretty girls.
Insecurity level infinity.



 In case you are wondering, that trophy isn't mine. It's Rabiatul Aqillah's. Anyway, I would want to congratulate both Haziq Haiqal and Rabiatul Aqillah for they had received awards, Haziq Haiqal, Anugerah Datin Hajah Ramlah whilst Rabiatul Aqillah, Anugerah Kepimpinan Terbaik.Barely remember what awards they had received but hey, you people, I am so proud of you guys! Both of you made me cried like a baby today! Congratulations, TonsEL.










That is all that happened today. I wish everyone all the best in SPM. It's our last year man, let's break a leg and pass with flying colors. 5 Ibnu Sina, I love each and everyone of you. Thanks for leaving one of the sweetest memories I have ever had. 

To the teachers, mm-hmm. Thank you so much for everything. Especially for the knowledge and sharing experiences with me and my friends. None will ever be forgotten. It stayed here, in our heart, forever.

To my parents, I really want both of you be proud of me. If it's not today, I am going to make it happens one day, Insha Allah.

Good luck 97's in the battle.

Remember this, "Even if you lose, you only lose the battle, not the war." :)

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

sepet in red

Please enjoy the last two days of school holidays, dear students.

Guess who came to school today?!
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.

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"People called us nerds, but today, we let loose."

I woke up with my eyes, sepet sebelah. You have no idea, how ugly I felt I was back then. I even think of not going to school to join my class video projects for graduation day but then again, the video would not complete without my face in it! Plus, I have paid MYR5 for the Helium balloon. HELIUM okay people. HELIUM! Who in the world would want to miss the opportunity to play with Helium?!
... And the balloons. 

At 8 o'clock in the morning, rain poured down heavily. We promised to gather at school at 9 o'clock in the morning but the rain didn't seem to stop so we postpone our meeting to 10.00 a.m..

Anyway, for your information, the theme we had chosen for our class video project was Red, Grey and White. You have exactly no idea how chaotic my night had been! I kept on trying every outfit I have in my cupboard. To be a girl is hard and very complicated, you know. No matter how many clothes I have in the cupboard, it would never be enough for me. I will still think I got nothing to wear. After I tried the outfits, I would capture a few photos and send them to Syazwani Afza for her opinions.

"Is it okay if I where this skirt?" 

............
....
.......................................  ......
.

"My hips look so huge!!"

 "Okay, this one?"

"This one makes me look so fat!"




Outfit of the day!
The red blouse was my Mama's but now it is mine, somehow.
Giant spectacles was bought at Hinode Shop.

\

Nur Najwa Atiqah and I volunteered to wait for the Helium balloons.


Finally, Helium balloons!!!!!!!!!!!









Aisyah Nabila and I had been doing so many retarded poses for the whole day!!


Crazy classmates!
















With Fakhrina Fateen and Aisyah Nabila!


We had potluck too!




If you asked me, what did we really do today, all I can say is we captured as many as photos as we can so yes, hopefully all of the photos explain what we had been doing for the whole day at the school. Some of us had also been selected to be interviewed for the class video project. 

 Could not wait for graduation day which would be on the 11th of October 2014!!!

PS: I tried to do the minion voice using the Helium gas, but... oh well let's just give it a try another time... -_______-

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.