BB at heart

I guess one of the best things about studying in UM would be all the volunteering projects we have here. 

In Faculty of Law, I participate actively in Community Outreach Program. Through this program, we will be going to places like KL Krashpad, Kechara, Sekolah Bimbingan Jalinan Kasih (SBJK), PAKK as well as TSP which situated in Ipoh, Perak. COP members would be going to these places every semester to do fun activities with the kids. Most of the time we would teach the kids regarding the law we have in Malaysia like assaults, battery, bully, but in simpler term of course so they could understand. Meanwhile in college, I joined volunteering projects such as Ekspedisi Nelayan and Baitul Bahiyyah.

It's interesting what you would benefit after volunteering. I mean, the experiences you would get throughout the whole program, it's priceless.

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10/03/2018

I remember my recent trip to Madrasah Darul Tahfiz Sri Al-Ain in Sungai Buloh under my college project, Baitul Bahiyyah. I was placed in Tahap 3 class and were asked to watch after them while they had their exams.

To be frank, I don't really understand the objective of this project at first. All I know is that ajks and volunteers went there every week to teach the kids Mathematics, Science and English so ok kita datang, ajar, mingle with the kids, ask them stuffs, then blah. Until I actually went there myself (and that was my 4th trip... god...) and involve immensely with the kids.

It was during the exam was conducted and all the kids, be it the boys or girls all go,

"Kak macam mana nak buat ni?" 

"Kak apa maksud ni?"

"Kak macam mana nak kira ni?"

"Kak betul ke jalan kira ni?"

I swear to God, it's annoying  (sorry I'm not kids friendly haha) so I went to Hisham (HOD for Biro Tutorial) and asked him if these kids have already learned all these basic mathematics questions or not? Who taught them? and If they receive a proper and formal education? That's the moment when the truth unravel.

The fact that these kids are refugees aren't bizarre to me. I know that most of them came from Kemboja. BUT I legit have to idea that these kids couldn't get a proper and formal education from a legit sekolah kebangsaan because they don't have identity card??????????????????????? Ya Allah, it truly breaks my heart when one of the students told me this, "saya tak boleh pergi sekolah macam tu sebab saya tak ada mykid". How am I supposed to react to this. :( Then I started going around asking if the kids have identity card and sadly, most of them know very well that they can't have one. :( 

"Macam mana nak buat IC, mak ayah saya pun tak ada. Ayah saya datang sini under permit, mak datang sini guna passport. Ayah kata kalau nak buat IC kena ada orang tolong, tapi tak ada siapa nak tolong."

I asked these kids if they have elder sister/brother and what happened to them now. Yang ada abang cakap abang dah kerja and suprisingly his brother is only 14!!!! Yang ada kakak cakap kakak ada kat Indonesia, kerja juga. When I asked them, what they will do after this, they looked super clueless. Some of them wanted to pursue their study but unfortunately they don't have the privilege to do so. 

"Belajar kat sini jelah kot kak sampai mati."

If that doesn't break your heart... :(

"Saya nak sambung belajar, saya nak masuk universiti nak belajar pasal gadjet."

At this point of time, I really wish I could do something to help them but too bad, I'm powerless. I felt  useless because I couldn't come out with anything to help them but being supportive of what they want to be. Then I was reminded of COP and immediately whatsapp kak Mun (director of COP) of what we could do to help them. And it's sad to know that there's only one option we could do to help them make identity card which is through adoption. That's when I realize, helping them with their study is the least I could do to help these poor kids.

Meeting and talking to the unfortunate kids reminded me of how blessed I actually am. I am privilege enough to be able to pursue my study in prestige university. My parents have provided enough for me to live yet I still don't know how to appreciate.

This would be one of the moments I'll never forget when I was volunteering. I learned that every time we want to join this kind of project, we need to know the objectives of it first. Why we go there in the first place, who are we helping, why we help them etc. That's how you put your heart in doing things so that when you felt tired, you wouldn't complain. In fact, you know that whatever you are doing will be worth it in the end. Volunteering gave me self-satisfaction I couldn't get anywhere else. It's the kids that make my heart warm.

Anyways, sorry for there's no pictures of the kids I could show because they are protected under Child Act. I truly miss them and I can't wait to have for the Mega event under this project - we will be visiting Petrosains with the kids yayy!! I'll be meeting Hussein and Razif (sorry biased, hehe). I'll definitely (inshallah) blog about it! :)

I guess that's all for this post. Till next time!

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

#dikirfambam

I swear to God there are so many things to write about - my trip to Kelantan for EKAN, Baitul Bahiyyah trip to Madrasah Darul Tahfiz Sri Al-Ain in Sungai Buloh where I met and taught refugees, COP 2 days and 1 night team building and my experience joining Dikir Barat for the first time!!!


In this post, I would be writing about my dikirfambam because guess who haven't moved on??? *coughs, coughs*
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17/03/2018

If you have read my previous post, you'll probably know that this semester I decided to step out of my comfort zone and joined something I never thought I would/could do. 

And one of them is joining dikir barat to represent our college in FESENI.

If you are UM students you probably know that every semester we would have Festival Seni also known as FESENI. It is a competition in which all 12 college in UM would send representatives to compete in certain performances such as Koir, Boria, Pop Band, Tarian Kreatif and more. One of the reasons I decided to participate in dikir barat was because out of all acara, I think dikir was the most interesting one and it doesn't need that much of 'talent' except for a loud voice. So after giving it a thought, I decided to give it a try by attending the interview. But there's no interview pun, at the end of the day everyone who came were selected to be in the team so yay!!

During the supposedly interview night, we had an introduction of how dikir barat works. In dikir we have awok-awok, tukang karut, tok jogho, and 4 people would play the percussion. Tok Jogho and Tukang Karut would lead awok-awok in lagu jogho, karut anjur, karut matang 1 & 2, karut cepat, and karut tani.

Then during semester break we had to come one week early than anyone else for Perkampungan Feseni. During this one week, we basically practice everything such as lagu, bunga and for those who played percussion, they learned how to play 'em because most of us are new and had absolutely 0 knowledge of dikir.

To be honest, I had the thought to withdraw myself from the team cause I think it took too much of my time. Mula-mulalah sebab every night we would have 2 hours of practice tapi rasa macam lack of input. It's probably because we haven't gotten the full lyrics for all the songs so you know, meh. But I'm so glad I have Alia Husna and Syaf (says halo to my dikirfambam) for always supporting me. They are the whole reason why I still want to be a part of the team.

"Nanti kalau awak keluar, awak mesti menyesal" - Alia Husna

Couldn't agree more with Alia. :')

Eventually, after we got the full lyrics for lagu jogho and lagu karut, I started to enjoy dikir so much. It's to the point that  I don't mind spending two hours of my night dikir with all awok-awok at lobby lelaki.

I probably was the most negative awok-awok in the team. I always think it seemed impossible for us to get a placing in the competition and maintain our kejuaraan in FESENI (coz dikir barat KK2 is no joke ok). I feel so for reasons ok. First because 99% of us are new members so hello you can't expect us to be as good as the previous team??????? Second, we have super slow voice that almost everyone who watched us dikir would said, lemaunya korang smh. Third, as we reached towards the day of the competition we were still insecure of our bunga, and we (especially me) were scared of our unfinished karut tani. We heard rumors (from coaches of other kk) about how goood they were already and here we are receiving mostly negative comments for our performances. Subahanallah, macam mana saya tak negatif huhu.

On the last day of our practice, we had a round table. That was the time when we let out everything that we felt throughout this one month plus of practice. God if only you guys were there to hear what everyone had to say, you'll be speechless. It's amazing how dikir affect us all in positive ways. 

"Dari pendiam dah jadi seorang yang berani nak bercakap, useful untuk buat presentation"

"Dulu suara slow, sekarang dah kuat"

...and more!!

We also had one chinese member in the team, and you'll be surprise to know what she said on that very last day, "saya sudah jatuh cinta dengan dikir barat, we are not just a team, we are a family!!" Nawh, Jennifer is such a sweetheart. :3 It might seemed impossible for us to get a placing in the eyes of other people, but we already win with such great bonding. 

Rehearsal twime!

Minutes before we were on stage!! 

Everyone was so excited for make-up sesh!

With Tok Jogho Terbaik, Wafahish and our Tukang Karut, Nabilah!

With dikir perempuan's manager, Syaf.<3 p="">

Here's a few words for you, 

Thank you so much for being the best manager. Thank you for being so so kind, for having faith on us, for making dikir something we love instead of something we were forced to do. You are the whole reason we made it this far. I'm so so glad I work with you. All the stressful time that you had, tears you shed for dikir, it's all worth if, Syaf. Tahniah. :')

AND YES PEEPS!!!!

THEY ANNOUNCED US AS THE 1ST RUNNER UP FOR DIKIR BARAT FESENI 17/18 

ALHAMDULILLAH, HARD WORK PAID OFF!

Sri Bahiyyah and Tingkah Bahiyyah.

Sri Bahiyyah: no. 2

Tingkah Bahiyyah: no. 4

Let's come back stronger guys!!

And a picture with our coach, Encik Asrul!

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

Alhamdulillah, all the late night practices, constant reminder to look at the audience and smile, to just shout it out and jangan control ayu, it's all finally worth it. We did it geng.

More pictures my instagram's highlights: dikirfambam.

Last but not least thank you so much to those who came to support us!!

This should be my second time of performing on stage. Good lord, who would've thought I. would. be. doing. this. I mean, PERFORMING ON STAGE ?????? IS THAT FOR REAL???? Alhamdulillah this is truly a great experience for me. There's too much of memories I've made masa berdikir, moving on is going to be super hard!!! :'(

Uhmm... nak lagi? *hints hints* hehe. Inshallah, kalau dapat kolej semester hadapan, we'll rock the lobby again. :')

Anyways, before I end this post, I leave this video for those who want to watch us berdikir lol (PLEASE IGNORE ME HAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S SO EMBARASSING TO SEE MYSELF IN THIS VIDEO BUT DAS OK FOR MEMORIES PURPOSES I RELA POST THIS VIDEO HERE HAHAHAHA :p)

Enjoy~~

Ah I miss them already (and rindu nak memekak lol).

Till then! 

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

finals' near syndrome

Hello!

I'm so glad that I no longer suffer from writer's block which made it so much easier for me to blog.

It's week 14 already.... can you believe it?????? because I can't....

One more week left for lectures and tutorials, then study's week and poof- it's finals!!! But instead of studying and revising, here I am blogging and I actually wasted week 13 watching all Star Wars episodes to prepare myself for The Last Jedi, what the hell. Haha. 

I don't know what's wrong with me but I often get this syndrome when final is near. Tiba-tiba discover very interesting movies to watch, tiba-tiba dapat ideas what to blog about, tiba-tiba rasa tak ada mood nak belajar, tiba-tiba rasa nak lazy around je tak nak buat apa-apa. Today is one of the days when I just don't feel like doing anything productive.

Blergh~~ I feel so shitty right now. 

Shitty, guilty, worried.

OKLAH I BETTER OFF NOW CARI MOTIVASI BELAJAR OR AT LEAST SIAPKAN CRIMINAL TUTORIAL. Doakan saya tidak malas-malas selalu.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

Moot as a subject

Ola!

If you've read my previous post about my first (and probably be the last) mooting competition ever, you would know how low my self-esteem was as soon as it ended. I felt as if law wasn't meant for me and I am too stupid to read law.

So for this first semester of my second year degree, guess what?!

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 MOOT IS A FREAKING SUBJECT!!!

I spent half of my semester break worrying I might fail this subject. I even cried at night wondering what if no one wants to be my moot partner because everyone knows I sucks??? I mean, everyone probably had had known who's their moot partner's going to be and I was totally lost with what's going on... Sighs. But Allah seems to ease everything for me, when Hana (says hello to my co-counsel!) asked if I want to be her partner. With no doubt or even a slight second thought, I immediately said yes! Haha.

As for this subject, we had two to three lectures where the lecturer told us the do's and don'ts, as well as the rules of mooting. We also practiced mooting during our tutorial classes every once a week. The best part was on the last week of our tutorial class, one of the lecturers had chosen our team as the best mooting team in the class. AND I SWEAR TO GOD THAT WAS THE START OF SOMETHING NEW IN MY JOURNEY IN LAW SCHOOL- The comment made by Raphael gave me hopes that maybe, just maybe I wasn't really that bad in mooting, that I can do it too, like other mooters. I started to feel more confidence to moot. Finally believing again that law is somehow meant for me.

The hardest part of mooting is of course memorial preparation!!! That's when I had to know what law to use, which authority/cases to cite, how to freaking apply it, how to argue on behalf of my client. It took me more than one week to prepare for memorial submission. Sampai terpaksa skipped my softball's training and stayed in the library (for the first time in forever) till it close to do some research. Pheww. I finally knew what it's like to be a law student.

There was this one night when Hana and I stayed at BBG till midnight to sort out our memorial. We had freaking print everything to only notice that there are so many flaws in our memorial. Like we haven't written the pages in each of the memorial, we haven't tabbed them, printed the same cases twice and mooore. It was so exhausting. I legit cried that night because I was so done with it. I mean, I wanted it to be perfect, but we kept on finding flaws in our memorial which made me feel almost close to giving up.

I didn't want to print our memorial on the day of submission because I know if I do, the printing place will be occupied with so many students. It took time to print hundred of pages, and to bind four sets of memorial. BUT what's the point of printing them early if it's not like what we expected it to be???? That night, terpaksalah asked Nisha if she could accompanied me to the nearest printing shop outside UM, which opened till 3.00 a.m. We borrowed Achang's car, and Hana and I settled everything there. We printed our memorial again, especially the ones for Mr Manley and the appellant, we fixed our respondent's number, we tabbed the cases, susun elok-elok, buang cases yang ada dua, etc. I was so grateful that such printing shop exist in KL. Mana nak jumpa wei printing shop buka sampai pukul 3 pagi!!!!!!!!! #blessed

The next day (submission day) we came early to the library to do paging and highlighting... and taadaa, we submitted it on time. Alhamdulillah.

Mooting is fatigue. It played a lot with my emotions and knowing the fact that I'm not a chill person, it freaked me out all the time. As soon as we had submitted our memorial, I rushed back to college to qada' my tidur.

That was part 1 of mooting as a subject.

What happened next was of course oral submission in which we have to present our arguments to the judge a.k.a our mooting lecturer.

Basically, it was ok because all the arguments are based on my memorial and I had pretty much included everything in it so copy paste jelah law and application. I spent two days practicing my oral submission with my friends. I mooted with Nadiah, Nisha, Syazwan (dia ni paling banyak kali dengar aku buat oral submission hahaha), Aishah, Wanda, Zarina (I just have to list their names because they helped me a lot!!!) as well as my partner Hana. THANKS TO ALL THESE HUMANS I THINK I HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH PRACTICED. MUCH LOVE!!!!

I practiced on how to answer questions a lot which I think I sucks so bad at it. Ye ah tak chill, nanti kalau judge tanya gelabah tak tahu macam mana nak jawab haha.

On the day of the oral submission... well I have to be honest even though I did my best, I think I could have done a lot better. I sucks at constructing sentences, so I find it a struggle to answer judge's questions on the spot. But Mr Manley was soooo nice though, it made me feel comfortable enough to tell him what I'm struggling with.

Overall, it was ok? Well... at least the first 12 minutes of the submission was okay before everything went idk, bad at the end? As soon as it ended, I called my parents to take me home. Can't stay in college when you are at your lowest/fragile state. I need my support system to assure me that it will be okay and that I have done my best.

Anyways, let's just hope for the best, shall we? Overall, mooting wasn't actually that bad. Over times, I'm sure I'll improve, it just that I need a lot of practice. But for now, I won't be entering any competition like I did last semester. Just let me breathe for a while.

So so so glad it's over. :)

That's all peeps! Till next time.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

#softballfambam

Hello!

Writing's mood kicks in so yeah I'm back!

I want to do a recap over the things that happened this year, it might be a lengthy post... well, it might not be... well it depends...

To start off, it's already my second year of degree. Life is still hectic but I think I am even more organized this semester compare to the last two semesters. #proud I still join loads of projects in college to collect some merits (and experiences) so as to stay in college. But this year, I decided to step out of my comfort zone!
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18/11/2017

I have always been the kind of person who involved more in organization compare to sports and basically all the competition that requires talents (because I don't have any talents). You want me to talk, I can talk, you want me to organize events, well I probably can but I can never do sport or sing or the things related to that. But this semester, I decided to give Sukmum and Feseni a try.

(Before I proceed, Sukmum stands for Sukan Mahasiswa Universiti Malaya and Feseni stand for Festival Seni. Both are competition whereby the college will send students who are good in sports and have talents in singing, dancing, etc to compete with other 11 colleges. Students who joined Sukmum and Feseni have higher chance of staying in college compare to those who only involve in college projects. Merits for both are high too ehe!)

So for Sukmum, I was approached by Fina, the Softball manager if I wanted to be a part of the team. Of course, I was hesitant back then because first, I am not a sports person. Second, I have NEVER joined any sports competition in my whole life. In fact, I barely know what Softball is like how does this game even works?! Despite of my low self-esteem, Fina and Nisha convinced me that they'll train me until I know how to play. Plus point, everyone else is beginner too, so yeah... I wasn't the only one.

My first ever training was... so bad. I was playing throwing and catching (T&C) when the self-proclaimed 'soft'ball hits my face. Kid you not humans, softball is NOT soft. IT'S FREAKING HARD. Ever since that day I had a trauma with the ball. By then everyone knows I "takut bola". When I was supposed to move in the direction of the ball to catch it, I will move to another side to avoid it. It's not fun playing T&C with me because of that haha sorry guys, I just can't. :(

It took me weeks to finally get used to catching balls. But I still had hard tough times trying to throw the balls in straight direction and stop giving fly balls. I tried batting too, but my batting skill was not really that impressive compare to the rest. Because of these reasons I often had this thought to quit Softball. Like, what's the point of playing if you don't know how to play? Memalukan diri sendiri je. I looked super and terribly lame kot pft smh. I had this thought when I was walking back from my faculty to college, when I looked at my bed and craved for evening nap (because our training is at 5 p.m. till 7 p.m. EVERYDAY and letting go of my evening nap is like the biggest and hardest sacrifice I've ever made in life!!!). I had this thought almost everyday especially on days when I did bad during our training. But I restrained myself from telling Fina.

#issokay #itsgonnabeoversoon #itbetterbe

I'll like to quote what a friend of mine said to me, "If you have time to do sport despite the hectic time in faculty, you can consider yourself lucky enough". It's true. If you can do sport despite your busy time trying to gather yo' shitz togetha, you are lucky enough. Sports is more than sports. It's more than showing your talents to everyone. It's about how you manage your time (typical essay's content). I am not kidding when I said that this first semester of my second year was such a pain in the ass. I tried so hard juggling my time between my studies, assignments, tutorials, sports, projects' meeting. And when I'm able to endure every week, I FELT SO DAMN PRODUCTIVE. Well, the side effect of training is that I'll get tired so fast at night. I would want to sleep even when it's not 12 a.m. yet. So because of that, I tried finishing my tutorials during the day or during the weekend. Same goes to my assignments (except for mooting which I skipped my one week of training to freaking settle that thing haha).

Well over times, I build confidence to catch the balls even though there are times when you can see I was trying to catch and avoid the balls at the same time. Thanks to my teammates for not giving up in me. For consistently give me support to get through the hard training till our tournament. Lots of love!!!

Fret not humans. I didn't play on the tournament day because of the obvious reasons but whatever we win anyways!!!

We be kickin' ass that day and got 2nd runner up; which fyi, it was the first time in forever KK2 girls' softball team made this far.

Congrats to the boys' team too!!!

Hard work pays off. Our evenings and nights training, came back early during mid sem break for the sake of practice... it's all paid off. (and it's all over now hehe).

So the next question is: would I join softball again?

I seriously have no idea. I mean, it's great to learn all the techniques and theory of softball. But it needs lotsa commitments to be in the team and considering my very poor skills, I don't know if I want to play again next year or whenever (if I ever get to stay college again). But who knows? Our desire changes over times right... hehe.

Picture of the whole team #softballfambam

Gons miss 'em <3 p="">

Anyways, I got my first ever jersey with my name on it too omg!!

ZFRA, 22.

Even though I didn't play, I play a big role in psycho-ing the opponents ok!

"Pitcher ball, pitcher ball, pitcher main bowling" and that's the highlight of my day.

That's for Sukmum... as for Feseni uhm... let it be a secret for now takut tak jadi masuk pula kan. I'll surely update about everything I do as a first timer, dun wurreh.

Update for my study: Second of year of degree doing just fine! I love this sem's subjects more than last year. Hopefully I can do better this semester. Pray for me xoxo.

Till then!

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

me moot?!??!

Sunday - 23/04/2017

I guess one of the highlights (too early eh?) of 2017 was when I decided to join Internal Mooting Competition in my faculty...

Like seriously.

In our faculty, we have moot club which organized moot competition from time to time such as Novice Moot Competition (IMC), Internal Mooting Competition  (IMC) etc. Honestly, I NEVER thought that I would involve in mooting competition. At least, not until it's a subject which we'll take next semester. By then it would be compulsory so yeah I ain't got no choice, mate. Cries.

Anyways, most of my batch mates joined NMC which stands for Novice Moot Competition (opened to all first year students) to get the experience what it is like to moot. I mean, you can't be a law student if you don't know how to moot? And interestingly, most of them told me how difficult mooting actually was when they were busy with the competition. Moot needs a lot of commitment. Once you are in, there's no way out (ok kidding). Basically, once you enter a moot competition you will dedicate half (or maybe more) of you time at the library, doing research. I still remember my friends struggling with memorials and contract assignment at the same time. Some people even withdraw from their team at the very last minute... Isn't it scary??????????

I didn't sign up for NMC just because. Plus I couldn't imagine myself, mooting?!?! And I don't want to embarrass myself in front of my seniors. #lowselfconfidence

To cut it short, it was during lecture time when Sya and Ain asked Aishah Shaiful, Aishah Soulmate and I if we wanted to be a part of the team for IMC because they were short of two people. I was contemplating at first but the idea of doing something out of your comfort-zone is nice so I finally decided to give it a try. I mean why not, early exposure to moot plus gonna take it next year some more so ok ok I'm in.

WELL

I WAS SO WRONG TO MAKE SUCH QUICK DECISION

I DIDN'T KNOW I'LL BE COMPETING WITH SENIORS I MEAN SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!

Moot does take a lot of your time. First because you need to identify the issues. There are a lot of issues k people. Then decide what law you should use, AND THE WORST PART WAS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND LAW YOU HAVE YET TO LEARN that was such a pain in the ass.... Of course, research, research, a lot of research is the answer to everything.

The issue this time was on constitutional law- oh lord hElp us.

We were given like two/three weeks to prepare but one week was burned because it was mid-sem break and I was busy with outbound program (gonna update on this soon!).  Even after mid-sem ended we didn't spend that much of time on the competition. We couldn't afford staying up late nights at the library. We have LIveS.

In moot competition you are divided into two teams; the respondent and the appellant. So basically what you have to do is to find legit law to protect your clients' rights. Sya and Aishah Shaiful represented the appellant, while Ain and I represented the respondent.

So our first EVER mistake was when we wrongly put the defendant's name. It was supposed to be the Govt. of Malaysia/public prosecutor but we put there Ketua Polis Negara instead??? Haha malu sangat because one of our seniors actually raised this questions when we had meeting with the moot club organizer.

While waiting for the first round. Nervous!

As soon as it ended! We were so happy we didn't go to the final round lol.

Good job, council!

Not sure 'bout my team mates, but I'm gonna talk about my experience...

Moot was really a bad idea for me. A really bad idea. By the time I know it takes up a lot of commitment, you need to read cases, you need to know statutes, application of law; I should have known it wasn't for me. I should have just waited for it to be compulsory for me to learn it instead of taking risks just to be exposed to moot. What was I even thinking?! I was obviously not in the right state of mind.

During the first round, I actually messed up everything. I felt so intimidated with our opponent, all of them are so good. Adding salt to the wound, our first opponent was our seniors which have loads of experience in mooting competition. The presented their case so well. They nailed every question asked by the judge. As I was watching them, I couldn't help myself but praying, it will be over soon. The heck, like can I get out of this place, NOW?

When it was my 'time' to moot, I stuttered a lot, I couldn't pronounce certain word clearly (I hate my accents), I didn't know what I was reading and the whole time I was presenting my points, I couldn't help myself thinking of how stupid my decision was. Our first judge was bearable. He understood that it was my first time. Besides the fact that he's good looking (ok, nyempat), he is soft-spoken which helped to calm myself down. HE IS SO NICE. The last round was the worst haha. I was sleepy and I just wanted everything to be done. It's so obvious that I didn't prepare and I was ashamed of myself. Most of the questions raised, I barely know the answer.

To be honest, it was 100% my fault for not preparing at all for the competition. I didn't read the full case.  I didn't understand what I was doing. I don't understand the issue, law and application that well. I treated this competition as if it was a road to moot (introduction to moot) instead of competition. I thought of just giving it a try. I didn't think of winning the 400 MYR. I just want to be exposed to moot. Little did I know, it brought a lot of bad consequences such as exposing my stupidity to my seniors and lecturer. Long sighs... I did it very badly. And the only thing I could think of was how stupid I looked in front of everyone, in front of Ain, my lecturer, judges, classmate, seniors.

I wasn't an overthinking person but post-mooting gave a super hard impact on me.

I feel as if law is not meant for me.

I wondered what were the interviewers thinking when they chose me to be a part of that faculty?

I failed myself.

I was depressed. I just want to hide myself. I didn't want to meet the people who saw me mooted. I didn't want to even talk about it. If I could I would list all my flaws as a law student here haha but ok not now lah. One day maybe after I graduated with LLB Hons ke kan... Tak adalah malu sangat nak tunjukkan kebodohan tu.

Post-mooting made me realize that if I keep myself this way, my journey would not be easy or that smooth. (Yet it still feels so difficult to change that bad habit...) I wonder why did I take this course in the first place... What made me so in love with law... Why am I here... How?

It takes up a lot of energy for me to feel belong in the faculty because of both the people and my study. It was super hard for me. I feel intimidated all day, everyday. Each day goes wondering how the heck am I here, reading law at the best university in Malaysia. Of all the people who went to the interviews, how the heck I was chosen? Mempersoalkan takdir- berdosa. But I can't help myself. I was surrounded with intelligent people here. Even other courses looked up to us simply cause we read law. I always feel law is not meant for me. Maybe after I graduated I should just you know... get married and become a full-time house wife? Haha.

OK shouldn't feel that way. Not healthy. I have 3 more years to endure kot. Takkan nak give up this early. Ish ish ish. Semester 2 of my first year hasn't even ended!!!!

I believe that everyone is struggling with something. I have no reason to stop working so hard for the sake of knowledge bright future and making my parents proud of me even though at times I questioned why am I here... I should be proud of myself as I made it this far. *gives myself a pat* Not everyone has the courage to take risks kan?

Senyum, Even how worse your day has been.

So... what's your struggle? :)

As of now, my struggle was to read law textbooks! Finals start this Friday, pray for me!! xoxo

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

hike all the way up

Saturday - 18/03/2017 

The best part of studying in University of Malaya, or UM was all the experiences I have gained throughout these two semesters. All of them are precious, hopefully I could jot down all the memories here.

So, one of the memories that I am about to share with you is an activity that I've never thought of doing! Guess what it was???

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JUNGLE TREKKING/HIKING

Hahaha I mean, I know right? Everyone knows I am not 'that' adventurous. But this time I should thank Yaya, Ain and Sya, once again, for convincing me to join jungle trekking/hiking at Sungai Lepoh, Hulu Langat organized by Royal Expedition club under KK12. I was actually contemplating between two programs. I should be going to TSP in Perak, under Community Out Reach program in my faculty, but because of these two fellas I decided to withdraw my name and paid RM 35 (hoping it would be worth it, hehe). 

To be honest, I almost canceled out my plan of going because 1) I wasn't feeling that well, I had flu; 2) KK12 is too far from KK2; 3) Do I really have to be there before 7 a.m.?; 4) Walk some more?? But thank God, Ain's roommate was away so she let me stayed overnight in her room just so I won't be late! 

To be honest, I was never really interested in such activities but I do have this one friend of mine whom has so much passion for hiking- the nature to be precise. He showed me pictures of the scenery once you are on top of the mountain and I was in awe. Ever since that day, hiking was in my bucket-list. 

I am not sure if this was a good or bad experience. Maybe a little of both?

Jungle trekking was NOT EASY. The journey before we reached the waterfall was so damn tough. Throughout the journey I slipped, I crouched, I fell numerous of times!!!! I brought a lot of troubles to the High-com. There were times when I just wanted to stop hiking. My stamina was a no joke! I didn't go jogging or exercises in years and now I was expecting myself to be fit enough to go up the hill? oh lord who am I kidding.

IT WAS VERY TIRING I ALMOST CRY 

so weak zz

But I kept pushing myself. I kept whispering to myself that it's going to be over soon. I would reach the destination and I'd be so glad I didn't give up. And if all these people can do it, why can't I? Anyways, I'm not sure if it's just me but I often feel that talking to yourself in the inside while exercising is tiring as if I am having a conversation in real life.

Reached the destination!!!

It took 2 hours +++ (or 3 hours?) if I am not mistaken to reach at the waterfall. Subahanallah it was indeed a very pretty scenery. Unfortunately though I did not capture pictures of the waterfall and I'm too lazy to save the pictures taken by my friends. 

Before we had a barbecue time, we played by the river. It was the time of the month so I was contemplating whether or not I should soak myself in the water. But meh, how long can I refrain myself? It was so tempting to be a part of the waterfall after years of not being able to do so cause; kencing tikus pft. What's even more interesting was when I glided through the batu air terjun!!! I wish I can upload the video here. It was so dangerous but Wani and I were one of the first girls who were brave enough to take up the challenge. No regrets. We even did it twice! That's how fun it was.

Next time; if you feel like doing something, just do it! It may be your last chance of doing so. 

Without these two I wouldn't be breaking my own record lol.

It was around 2 p.m. after we had cleaned ourselves and eaten our lunch, it started to rain and it was the exact same time we had to leave the place. I thought only the process of going up was tough but teeeetttt I was wrong. The process of going down was just the same. It was raining some more!!! Once again, in the middle of the journey, I slipped, I crouched, I fall and this time I EVEN SPRAINED MY ANKLE TWICE. I am super glad I have my friends who would help me especially Wani because she accompanied me during the whole journey of going down. She's such a sweetheart.

I gave troubles to the REX high-com and I was fully aware of it. In fact I heard one of them said, "What's your name? Nak blacklist haha," I didn't blame them if they ever felt that way because yes I was such a troublesome... and burdensome. The senior who leads the way down even asked me to walk in front of him just to make sure I was safe (I guess so). Lucky I was I know most of the high-com cause most of them are my law seniors they have been nothing but super nice to me!! 

I even lost my new shoes guys!!! Nasib baik Muaz and Kak Aliya were still at the place when the bus had moved to UM. I almost cry ok thinking what if I didn't get back my shoes?! My parents would kill me!!!

But worries no more, I got my shoes back hehe.

All in all it was a good experience for me. I mean the journey wasn't easy, obviously but throughout the process I learn a lot of things such as do work on your own phase, friendship etc.

This was my first time, hopefully it won't be the last.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.