Okay?

"You don't need other people to care to be fine. 

It's your mind,

 your matter,

so likewise, 

only you should matter to yourself.

 Don't depend on others on things you can do on your own.

 But always depend on Allah 

on everything 

cause He is the only one you need to have care for you."

- @wanidessu (2018)

Baetul Baeyah

Remember my promise to update about BB's mega project, going to Petrosains with the kids??? Here I am!

.

.

.

07/04/2018

Anyways just to tell you guys, it has been a super stressful and busy week. Week 9 was e-learning week (which means we are having online classes instead of physical lectures and tutorials!) but we are very much occupied with quiz(es) and assignments. E-learning may seem fun because you get to do everything at home but trust me the workload stays the same.

I haven't felt very humane for the past few weeks. It's probably because I had a very unproductive mid semester break (home all day, everyday smh. Not to mention I spent almost everyday in my room throughout the e-learning week as well) so I'm very very excited for this BB's mega project!

Once we reached the Madrasah, as per usual some of the kids would wait for us outside. I was walking with the other volunteers when I heard, "hi kak, hi kak" but I ignored it because I thought it was for some other kakaks when it turned out that the HI was meant for me!!! It was Razif whom hi-ed me. Good lord. Only god knows how excited I was when I knew he remembered me!!! I mean, it has been a while since my last BB trip but the fact that these kids still remember me made me flattered.

Yelah. Every week they will meet other volunteers, ini tak kira those who came under different projects than Baitul Bahiyyah. The chances for the kids to remember me is like 0.00001% kot? Haha. That's why I get so excited. Even when they don't remember my name, they still remember how I look like. :')

Like my previous trip, Adham asked me to become the moderator to control the situation for few minutes before we proceed with the next tentative. We made some cheers like tepuk rocket, tepuk tak bunyi  and tepuk cikabuka just to warm up the kids. Then we separated them into their groups and this time I had to take care of the tahap 1 students - Aris, Nordini, Natasha, and Fiza (a bit sad cause I want to be in Razif's group but that's ok). After we had breakfast, we went to Petrosains, Suria KLCC.

@ Petrosains, Suria KLCC.

Alhamdulillah, everything went well for the tahap 1 kids. Even though there were some delays, we still manage to follow the tentative. The flow was pretty smooth for these kids. Our main concern was actually the toilet because... you know... tak ada paip....  but it wasn't really a big problem because they somehow know how to use the bidet so yay for that! #kurangkerjaakak

While we were in Petrosains, the kids were very excited when they see the technology. It is indeed a good place to triggered their curiosity and mind to think out of the box. It's sad to say that some of them barely go out and experience such things themselves. So this project is a great medium to expose them to the 'real world'.

Our last pit stop at Masjid Wilayah before sending the kids back to their Madrasah.

I'm so sorry I posted pictures of myself more than the kids but they are protected under Child Act. Despite the consent we received from the Madrasah, I don't think it's appropriate to post it here. So if you want to see more of the kids' pictures do follow @baitulbahiyyah's instagram!

Anyways, just to tell you guys, today (14/04/2018) was Majlis Penutup Baitul Bahiyyah and it brings back memories on how I started my journey as an AJK under this Project. I joined loads of projects last semester so I barely contributed for BB. I went for the previous Majlis Penutup and Adham forced to become an informal emcee (not like it's a big deal haha). And today here I am, becoming emcee for Majlis Penutup Baitul Bahiyyah for the second time and I was so pleased to do so (despite having a massive headache).

Our LDK was a bit special this time! We taught the kids how to make "love" by origami and then the kids need to write something for the facilitators and these are what I received!

Ahh, can't believe it's the end of BB already and this semester I develop so much love for the the kids and BB team. I'm attached to this little family a little too much this time. I wish I would still get college next semester just so I can meet the kids, again.

Rindu dah.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

BB at heart

I guess one of the best things about studying in UM would be all the volunteering projects we have here. 

In Faculty of Law, I participate actively in Community Outreach Program. Through this program, we will be going to places like KL Krashpad, Kechara, Sekolah Bimbingan Jalinan Kasih (SBJK), PAKK as well as TSP which situated in Ipoh, Perak. COP members would be going to these places every semester to do fun activities with the kids. Most of the time we would teach the kids regarding the law we have in Malaysia like assaults, battery, bully, but in simpler term of course so they could understand. Meanwhile in college, I joined volunteering projects such as Ekspedisi Nelayan and Baitul Bahiyyah.

It's interesting what you would benefit after volunteering. I mean, the experiences you would get throughout the whole program, it's priceless.

.

.

.

10/03/2018

I remember my recent trip to Madrasah Darul Tahfiz Sri Al-Ain in Sungai Buloh under my college project, Baitul Bahiyyah. I was placed in Tahap 3 class and were asked to watch after them while they had their exams.

To be frank, I don't really understand the objective of this project at first. All I know is that ajks and volunteers went there every week to teach the kids Mathematics, Science and English so ok kita datang, ajar, mingle with the kids, ask them stuffs, then blah. Until I actually went there myself (and that was my 4th trip... god...) and involve immensely with the kids.

It was during the exam was conducted and all the kids, be it the boys or girls all go,

"Kak macam mana nak buat ni?" 

"Kak apa maksud ni?"

"Kak macam mana nak kira ni?"

"Kak betul ke jalan kira ni?"

I swear to God, it's annoying  (sorry I'm not kids friendly haha) so I went to Hisham (HOD for Biro Tutorial) and asked him if these kids have already learned all these basic mathematics questions or not? Who taught them? and If they receive a proper and formal education? That's the moment when the truth unravel.

The fact that these kids are refugees aren't bizarre to me. I know that most of them came from Kemboja. BUT I legit have to idea that these kids couldn't get a proper and formal education from a legit sekolah kebangsaan because they don't have identity card??????????????????????? Ya Allah, it truly breaks my heart when one of the students told me this, "saya tak boleh pergi sekolah macam tu sebab saya tak ada mykid". How am I supposed to react to this. :( Then I started going around asking if the kids have identity card and sadly, most of them know very well that they can't have one. :( 

"Macam mana nak buat IC, mak ayah saya pun tak ada. Ayah saya datang sini under permit, mak datang sini guna passport. Ayah kata kalau nak buat IC kena ada orang tolong, tapi tak ada siapa nak tolong."

I asked these kids if they have elder sister/brother and what happened to them now. Yang ada abang cakap abang dah kerja and suprisingly his brother is only 14!!!! Yang ada kakak cakap kakak ada kat Indonesia, kerja juga. When I asked them, what they will do after this, they looked super clueless. Some of them wanted to pursue their study but unfortunately they don't have the privilege to do so. 

"Belajar kat sini jelah kot kak sampai mati."

If that doesn't break your heart... :(

"Saya nak sambung belajar, saya nak masuk universiti nak belajar pasal gadjet."

At this point of time, I really wish I could do something to help them but too bad, I'm powerless. I felt  useless because I couldn't come out with anything to help them but being supportive of what they want to be. Then I was reminded of COP and immediately whatsapp kak Mun (director of COP) of what we could do to help them. And it's sad to know that there's only one option we could do to help them make identity card which is through adoption. That's when I realize, helping them with their study is the least I could do to help these poor kids.

Meeting and talking to the unfortunate kids reminded me of how blessed I actually am. I am privilege enough to be able to pursue my study in prestige university. My parents have provided enough for me to live yet I still don't know how to appreciate.

This would be one of the moments I'll never forget when I was volunteering. I learned that every time we want to join this kind of project, we need to know the objectives of it first. Why we go there in the first place, who are we helping, why we help them etc. That's how you put your heart in doing things so that when you felt tired, you wouldn't complain. In fact, you know that whatever you are doing will be worth it in the end. Volunteering gave me self-satisfaction I couldn't get anywhere else. It's the kids that make my heart warm.

Anyways, sorry for there's no pictures of the kids I could show because they are protected under Child Act. I truly miss them and I can't wait to have for the Mega event under this project - we will be visiting Petrosains with the kids yayy!! I'll be meeting Hussein and Razif (sorry biased, hehe). I'll definitely (inshallah) blog about it! :)

I guess that's all for this post. Till next time!

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

#dikirfambam

I swear to God there are so many things to write about - my trip to Kelantan for EKAN, Baitul Bahiyyah trip to Madrasah Darul Tahfiz Sri Al-Ain in Sungai Buloh where I met and taught refugees, COP 2 days and 1 night team building and my experience joining Dikir Barat for the first time!!!


In this post, I would be writing about my dikirfambam because guess who haven't moved on??? *coughs, coughs*
.


.



.

17/03/2018

If you have read my previous post, you'll probably know that this semester I decided to step out of my comfort zone and joined something I never thought I would/could do. 

And one of them is joining dikir barat to represent our college in FESENI.

If you are UM students you probably know that every semester we would have Festival Seni also known as FESENI. It is a competition in which all 12 college in UM would send representatives to compete in certain performances such as Koir, Boria, Pop Band, Tarian Kreatif and more. One of the reasons I decided to participate in dikir barat was because out of all acara, I think dikir was the most interesting one and it doesn't need that much of 'talent' except for a loud voice. So after giving it a thought, I decided to give it a try by attending the interview. But there's no interview pun, at the end of the day everyone who came were selected to be in the team so yay!!

During the supposedly interview night, we had an introduction of how dikir barat works. In dikir we have awok-awok, tukang karut, tok jogho, and 4 people would play the percussion. Tok Jogho and Tukang Karut would lead awok-awok in lagu jogho, karut anjur, karut matang 1 & 2, karut cepat, and karut tani.

Then during semester break we had to come one week early than anyone else for Perkampungan Feseni. During this one week, we basically practice everything such as lagu, bunga and for those who played percussion, they learned how to play 'em because most of us are new and had absolutely 0 knowledge of dikir.

To be honest, I had the thought to withdraw myself from the team cause I think it took too much of my time. Mula-mulalah sebab every night we would have 2 hours of practice tapi rasa macam lack of input. It's probably because we haven't gotten the full lyrics for all the songs so you know, meh. But I'm so glad I have Alia Husna and Syaf (says halo to my dikirfambam) for always supporting me. They are the whole reason why I still want to be a part of the team.

"Nanti kalau awak keluar, awak mesti menyesal" - Alia Husna

Couldn't agree more with Alia. :')

Eventually, after we got the full lyrics for lagu jogho and lagu karut, I started to enjoy dikir so much. It's to the point that  I don't mind spending two hours of my night dikir with all awok-awok at lobby lelaki.

I probably was the most negative awok-awok in the team. I always think it seemed impossible for us to get a placing in the competition and maintain our kejuaraan in FESENI (coz dikir barat KK2 is no joke ok). I feel so for reasons ok. First because 99% of us are new members so hello you can't expect us to be as good as the previous team??????? Second, we have super slow voice that almost everyone who watched us dikir would said, lemaunya korang smh. Third, as we reached towards the day of the competition we were still insecure of our bunga, and we (especially me) were scared of our unfinished karut tani. We heard rumors (from coaches of other kk) about how goood they were already and here we are receiving mostly negative comments for our performances. Subahanallah, macam mana saya tak negatif huhu.

On the last day of our practice, we had a round table. That was the time when we let out everything that we felt throughout this one month plus of practice. God if only you guys were there to hear what everyone had to say, you'll be speechless. It's amazing how dikir affect us all in positive ways. 

"Dari pendiam dah jadi seorang yang berani nak bercakap, useful untuk buat presentation"

"Dulu suara slow, sekarang dah kuat"

...and more!!

We also had one chinese member in the team, and you'll be surprise to know what she said on that very last day, "saya sudah jatuh cinta dengan dikir barat, we are not just a team, we are a family!!" Nawh, Jennifer is such a sweetheart. :3 It might seemed impossible for us to get a placing in the eyes of other people, but we already win with such great bonding. 

Rehearsal twime!

Minutes before we were on stage!! 

Everyone was so excited for make-up sesh!

With Tok Jogho Terbaik, Wafahish and our Tukang Karut, Nabilah!

With dikir perempuan's manager, Syaf.<3 p="">

Here's a few words for you, 

Thank you so much for being the best manager. Thank you for being so so kind, for having faith on us, for making dikir something we love instead of something we were forced to do. You are the whole reason we made it this far. I'm so so glad I work with you. All the stressful time that you had, tears you shed for dikir, it's all worth if, Syaf. Tahniah. :')

AND YES PEEPS!!!!

THEY ANNOUNCED US AS THE 1ST RUNNER UP FOR DIKIR BARAT FESENI 17/18 

ALHAMDULILLAH, HARD WORK PAID OFF!

Sri Bahiyyah and Tingkah Bahiyyah.

Sri Bahiyyah: no. 2

Tingkah Bahiyyah: no. 4

Let's come back stronger guys!!

And a picture with our coach, Encik Asrul!

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

Alhamdulillah, all the late night practices, constant reminder to look at the audience and smile, to just shout it out and jangan control ayu, it's all finally worth it. We did it geng.

More pictures my instagram's highlights: dikirfambam.

Last but not least thank you so much to those who came to support us!!

This should be my second time of performing on stage. Good lord, who would've thought I. would. be. doing. this. I mean, PERFORMING ON STAGE ?????? IS THAT FOR REAL???? Alhamdulillah this is truly a great experience for me. There's too much of memories I've made masa berdikir, moving on is going to be super hard!!! :'(

Uhmm... nak lagi? *hints hints* hehe. Inshallah, kalau dapat kolej semester hadapan, we'll rock the lobby again. :')

Anyways, before I end this post, I leave this video for those who want to watch us berdikir lol (PLEASE IGNORE ME HAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S SO EMBARASSING TO SEE MYSELF IN THIS VIDEO BUT DAS OK FOR MEMORIES PURPOSES I RELA POST THIS VIDEO HERE HAHAHAHA :p)

Enjoy~~

Ah I miss them already (and rindu nak memekak lol).

Till then! 

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

finals' near syndrome

Hello!

I'm so glad that I no longer suffer from writer's block which made it so much easier for me to blog.

It's week 14 already.... can you believe it?????? because I can't....

One more week left for lectures and tutorials, then study's week and poof- it's finals!!! But instead of studying and revising, here I am blogging and I actually wasted week 13 watching all Star Wars episodes to prepare myself for The Last Jedi, what the hell. Haha. 

I don't know what's wrong with me but I often get this syndrome when final is near. Tiba-tiba discover very interesting movies to watch, tiba-tiba dapat ideas what to blog about, tiba-tiba rasa tak ada mood nak belajar, tiba-tiba rasa nak lazy around je tak nak buat apa-apa. Today is one of the days when I just don't feel like doing anything productive.

Blergh~~ I feel so shitty right now. 

Shitty, guilty, worried.

OKLAH I BETTER OFF NOW CARI MOTIVASI BELAJAR OR AT LEAST SIAPKAN CRIMINAL TUTORIAL. Doakan saya tidak malas-malas selalu.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

Moot as a subject

Ola!

If you've read my previous post about my first (and probably be the last) mooting competition ever, you would know how low my self-esteem was as soon as it ended. I felt as if law wasn't meant for me and I am too stupid to read law.

So for this first semester of my second year degree, guess what?!

.

.

.

 MOOT IS A FREAKING SUBJECT!!!

I spent half of my semester break worrying I might fail this subject. I even cried at night wondering what if no one wants to be my moot partner because everyone knows I sucks??? I mean, everyone probably had had known who's their moot partner's going to be and I was totally lost with what's going on... Sighs. But Allah seems to ease everything for me, when Hana (says hello to my co-counsel!) asked if I want to be her partner. With no doubt or even a slight second thought, I immediately said yes! Haha.

As for this subject, we had two to three lectures where the lecturer told us the do's and don'ts, as well as the rules of mooting. We also practiced mooting during our tutorial classes every once a week. The best part was on the last week of our tutorial class, one of the lecturers had chosen our team as the best mooting team in the class. AND I SWEAR TO GOD THAT WAS THE START OF SOMETHING NEW IN MY JOURNEY IN LAW SCHOOL- The comment made by Raphael gave me hopes that maybe, just maybe I wasn't really that bad in mooting, that I can do it too, like other mooters. I started to feel more confidence to moot. Finally believing again that law is somehow meant for me.

The hardest part of mooting is of course memorial preparation!!! That's when I had to know what law to use, which authority/cases to cite, how to freaking apply it, how to argue on behalf of my client. It took me more than one week to prepare for memorial submission. Sampai terpaksa skipped my softball's training and stayed in the library (for the first time in forever) till it close to do some research. Pheww. I finally knew what it's like to be a law student.

There was this one night when Hana and I stayed at BBG till midnight to sort out our memorial. We had freaking print everything to only notice that there are so many flaws in our memorial. Like we haven't written the pages in each of the memorial, we haven't tabbed them, printed the same cases twice and mooore. It was so exhausting. I legit cried that night because I was so done with it. I mean, I wanted it to be perfect, but we kept on finding flaws in our memorial which made me feel almost close to giving up.

I didn't want to print our memorial on the day of submission because I know if I do, the printing place will be occupied with so many students. It took time to print hundred of pages, and to bind four sets of memorial. BUT what's the point of printing them early if it's not like what we expected it to be???? That night, terpaksalah asked Nisha if she could accompanied me to the nearest printing shop outside UM, which opened till 3.00 a.m. We borrowed Achang's car, and Hana and I settled everything there. We printed our memorial again, especially the ones for Mr Manley and the appellant, we fixed our respondent's number, we tabbed the cases, susun elok-elok, buang cases yang ada dua, etc. I was so grateful that such printing shop exist in KL. Mana nak jumpa wei printing shop buka sampai pukul 3 pagi!!!!!!!!! #blessed

The next day (submission day) we came early to the library to do paging and highlighting... and taadaa, we submitted it on time. Alhamdulillah.

Mooting is fatigue. It played a lot with my emotions and knowing the fact that I'm not a chill person, it freaked me out all the time. As soon as we had submitted our memorial, I rushed back to college to qada' my tidur.

That was part 1 of mooting as a subject.

What happened next was of course oral submission in which we have to present our arguments to the judge a.k.a our mooting lecturer.

Basically, it was ok because all the arguments are based on my memorial and I had pretty much included everything in it so copy paste jelah law and application. I spent two days practicing my oral submission with my friends. I mooted with Nadiah, Nisha, Syazwan (dia ni paling banyak kali dengar aku buat oral submission hahaha), Aishah, Wanda, Zarina (I just have to list their names because they helped me a lot!!!) as well as my partner Hana. THANKS TO ALL THESE HUMANS I THINK I HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH PRACTICED. MUCH LOVE!!!!

I practiced on how to answer questions a lot which I think I sucks so bad at it. Ye ah tak chill, nanti kalau judge tanya gelabah tak tahu macam mana nak jawab haha.

On the day of the oral submission... well I have to be honest even though I did my best, I think I could have done a lot better. I sucks at constructing sentences, so I find it a struggle to answer judge's questions on the spot. But Mr Manley was soooo nice though, it made me feel comfortable enough to tell him what I'm struggling with.

Overall, it was ok? Well... at least the first 12 minutes of the submission was okay before everything went idk, bad at the end? As soon as it ended, I called my parents to take me home. Can't stay in college when you are at your lowest/fragile state. I need my support system to assure me that it will be okay and that I have done my best.

Anyways, let's just hope for the best, shall we? Overall, mooting wasn't actually that bad. Over times, I'm sure I'll improve, it just that I need a lot of practice. But for now, I won't be entering any competition like I did last semester. Just let me breathe for a while.

So so so glad it's over. :)

That's all peeps! Till next time.

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.

#softballfambam

Hello!

Writing's mood kicks in so yeah I'm back!

I want to do a recap over the things that happened this year, it might be a lengthy post... well, it might not be... well it depends...

To start off, it's already my second year of degree. Life is still hectic but I think I am even more organized this semester compare to the last two semesters. #proud I still join loads of projects in college to collect some merits (and experiences) so as to stay in college. But this year, I decided to step out of my comfort zone!
.

.


.
18/11/2017

I have always been the kind of person who involved more in organization compare to sports and basically all the competition that requires talents (because I don't have any talents). You want me to talk, I can talk, you want me to organize events, well I probably can but I can never do sport or sing or the things related to that. But this semester, I decided to give Sukmum and Feseni a try.

(Before I proceed, Sukmum stands for Sukan Mahasiswa Universiti Malaya and Feseni stand for Festival Seni. Both are competition whereby the college will send students who are good in sports and have talents in singing, dancing, etc to compete with other 11 colleges. Students who joined Sukmum and Feseni have higher chance of staying in college compare to those who only involve in college projects. Merits for both are high too ehe!)

So for Sukmum, I was approached by Fina, the Softball manager if I wanted to be a part of the team. Of course, I was hesitant back then because first, I am not a sports person. Second, I have NEVER joined any sports competition in my whole life. In fact, I barely know what Softball is like how does this game even works?! Despite of my low self-esteem, Fina and Nisha convinced me that they'll train me until I know how to play. Plus point, everyone else is beginner too, so yeah... I wasn't the only one.

My first ever training was... so bad. I was playing throwing and catching (T&C) when the self-proclaimed 'soft'ball hits my face. Kid you not humans, softball is NOT soft. IT'S FREAKING HARD. Ever since that day I had a trauma with the ball. By then everyone knows I "takut bola". When I was supposed to move in the direction of the ball to catch it, I will move to another side to avoid it. It's not fun playing T&C with me because of that haha sorry guys, I just can't. :(

It took me weeks to finally get used to catching balls. But I still had hard tough times trying to throw the balls in straight direction and stop giving fly balls. I tried batting too, but my batting skill was not really that impressive compare to the rest. Because of these reasons I often had this thought to quit Softball. Like, what's the point of playing if you don't know how to play? Memalukan diri sendiri je. I looked super and terribly lame kot pft smh. I had this thought when I was walking back from my faculty to college, when I looked at my bed and craved for evening nap (because our training is at 5 p.m. till 7 p.m. EVERYDAY and letting go of my evening nap is like the biggest and hardest sacrifice I've ever made in life!!!). I had this thought almost everyday especially on days when I did bad during our training. But I restrained myself from telling Fina.

#issokay #itsgonnabeoversoon #itbetterbe

I'll like to quote what a friend of mine said to me, "If you have time to do sport despite the hectic time in faculty, you can consider yourself lucky enough". It's true. If you can do sport despite your busy time trying to gather yo' shitz togetha, you are lucky enough. Sports is more than sports. It's more than showing your talents to everyone. It's about how you manage your time (typical essay's content). I am not kidding when I said that this first semester of my second year was such a pain in the ass. I tried so hard juggling my time between my studies, assignments, tutorials, sports, projects' meeting. And when I'm able to endure every week, I FELT SO DAMN PRODUCTIVE. Well, the side effect of training is that I'll get tired so fast at night. I would want to sleep even when it's not 12 a.m. yet. So because of that, I tried finishing my tutorials during the day or during the weekend. Same goes to my assignments (except for mooting which I skipped my one week of training to freaking settle that thing haha).

Well over times, I build confidence to catch the balls even though there are times when you can see I was trying to catch and avoid the balls at the same time. Thanks to my teammates for not giving up in me. For consistently give me support to get through the hard training till our tournament. Lots of love!!!

Fret not humans. I didn't play on the tournament day because of the obvious reasons but whatever we win anyways!!!

We be kickin' ass that day and got 2nd runner up; which fyi, it was the first time in forever KK2 girls' softball team made this far.

Congrats to the boys' team too!!!

Hard work pays off. Our evenings and nights training, came back early during mid sem break for the sake of practice... it's all paid off. (and it's all over now hehe).

So the next question is: would I join softball again?

I seriously have no idea. I mean, it's great to learn all the techniques and theory of softball. But it needs lotsa commitments to be in the team and considering my very poor skills, I don't know if I want to play again next year or whenever (if I ever get to stay college again). But who knows? Our desire changes over times right... hehe.

Picture of the whole team #softballfambam

Gons miss 'em <3 p="">

Anyways, I got my first ever jersey with my name on it too omg!!

ZFRA, 22.

Even though I didn't play, I play a big role in psycho-ing the opponents ok!

"Pitcher ball, pitcher ball, pitcher main bowling" and that's the highlight of my day.

That's for Sukmum... as for Feseni uhm... let it be a secret for now takut tak jadi masuk pula kan. I'll surely update about everything I do as a first timer, dun wurreh.

Update for my study: Second of year of degree doing just fine! I love this sem's subjects more than last year. Hopefully I can do better this semester. Pray for me xoxo.

Till then!

Lots of Love, Nurzafira Sabrina.